{"product_id":"⚡-goblin-turbo-service","title":"⚡ Goblin Turbo Service","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"363\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eNeed your cardboard \u003cstrong data-start=\"383\" data-end=\"396\"\u003eright now\u003c\/strong\u003e?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"363\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eSummon the goblins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"419\" data-end=\"566\"\u003eFor $24.99, our goblin workforce will \u003cem\u003edrop everything\u003c\/em\u003e, abandon all reasonable workflow practices, and sprint your order to the top of the pile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"568\" data-end=\"592\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"568\" data-end=\"592\"\u003eRules of the ritual:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"593\" data-end=\"916\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"593\" data-end=\"630\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"595\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eApplies to \u003cstrong data-start=\"606\" data-end=\"622\"\u003e20 singles\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eor less \u003c\/strong\u003eonly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"631\" data-end=\"698\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"633\" data-end=\"698\"\u003eOrders placed \u003cstrong data-start=\"647\" data-end=\"668\"\u003ebefore 4:30PM MST\u003c\/strong\u003e are completed \u003cstrong data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"695\"\u003esame day\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"699\" data-end=\"790\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"701\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eOrders placed after \u003cstrong data-start=\"714\" data-end=\"724\"\u003e4:30PM\u003c\/strong\u003e roll over to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"742\" data-end=\"763\"\u003enext business day\u003c\/strong\u003e (the goblins unionized. #SorrtNotSorry.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"791\" data-end=\"916\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"916\"\u003eLarger orders return to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"821\" data-end=\"845\"\u003enormal 72-hour queue\u003c\/strong\u003e because if you order a \u003cem data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"897\"\u003ecostco pallet of cardboard\u003c\/em\u003e, we need a minute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Misfiled Hoard","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45263640166447,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0757\/8219\/3199\/files\/GoblinService.jpg?v=1777514651","url":"https:\/\/enchantedrealms-misfiledhoard.myshopify.com\/products\/%e2%9a%a1-goblin-turbo-service","provider":"The Misfiled Hoard","version":"1.0","type":"link"}